A college mascot should illicit pride in your school and strike fear in the hearts of your rivals. A lion, a tiger, and a warrior are just a few symbols of greatness and power that come to mind when thinking of the ideal college mascot. The following schools apparently did not get that message when choosing the face of their university.
10. Miami University’s Sebastian the Ibis
The school is the Miami Hurricanes and their mascot is an Ibis, the creature most likely to be killed in a hurricane. Also, an Ibis is not a duck, yet that is exactly what the mascot looks like. An Ibis is a small bird that looks more like a pheasant. I know information was hard to come by before Google, encyclopedias are big and bulky and the index is all the way in the back, but at an institution of higher learning, you would think accuracy would be more important. Also, neither an Ibis nor a Duck is intimidating.
9. Oklahoma Sooners
I wasn’t sure what a sooner was, so I looked it up (never a good sign if most people do not know what your name means). Apparently, sooner was a term used to describe settlers who entered unassigned lands in the late 1800’s, scary. They usually travelled in covered wagons called schooners, terrifying. So the University of Oklahoma decided that their school should be represented by the Sooner Schooner, a wagon. Even if the horses are ‘roided out like Barbaro, a wagon is not cool.
8. Nebraska Cornhuskers
A cornhusker is only intimidating to one thing, corn that still has its husk. We get it, there is a lot of corn in Nebraska, there is also a lot of…ok, there is nothing else in Nebraska, but they still could have come up with something better. And the mascot itself is called ‘Lil Red and looks like Bob Big Boy’s younger, slower brother. No wonder the only job he could find is husking corn.
7. Ohio State Buckeye
According to Wikipedia, a buckeye is a nut from the buckeye tree. As someone that is allergic to nuts, this mascot is actually quite menacing. To pretty much everyone else, however, a buckeye is a lot like the Ohio State football team, it sounds intimidating until you actually see it, then you realize it couldn’t hurt anyone.
6. Minnesota Golden Gophers
Besides golf course greens keepers and gardeners, gophers are not threatening to anyone. How many people have ever even seen a gopher? Something that lives in holes and rarely comes above ground cannot strike fear in the hearts of anyone, unless it is Osama Bin Laden.
5. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
I know what you’re thinking, bees are scary. You may change your mind though if the bees chasing you were wearing tights. Then you would see them for what they really are, flies on steroids, and all you need to end their lives is a room with a window and time.
4. Xavier University’s Blue Blob
This looks more like the mascot for Sesame Street. I suppose this mascot is creepy, but is that really what schools are going for when picking the symbol of their institution? I guess they decided it was better to scare the kids of their alumni than intimidate the other school.
3. Syracuse’s Otto the Orange
Yes, scurvy is a scary disease (if you’re a pirate) and more schools should tout the importance of a well balanced diet. Nevertheless, I think making this the centerpiece of your university is taking it a little too far. If you are going to make your mascot a fruit, at least choose something ferocious like a cumquat or a horned melon.
2. University of California – Santa Cruz Banana Slug
People don’t usually attend UC Santa Cruz for its sports programs; unless learning how to set up medical marijuana growing stations is part of the athletic department. That doesn’t mean they should have completely slacked off when choosing their mascot. For those of you who don’t know a banana slug is a large, slimy, yellow slug that lives in the redwood forests of northern California. No matter how big, or how yellow, a slug is, it is just not cool.
1. Stanford Cardinal
Stanford is number 1 for the simple fact that it has 2 mascots and both of them suck. Cardinal is a color, similar to red, lame. The mascot that jumps around at sporting events is a tree. Trees are not intimidating, cool, fearsome, or any other adjective that should describe a mascot. The Stanford Tree was involved in one of the best mascot fights of all time with the Cal Bear, however, and that almost got them left off this list, almost.
Top 10 Worst College Mascots
Posted by College Spot in Top 10 Lists
A college mascot should illicit pride in your school and strike fear in the hearts of your rivals. A lion, a tiger, and a warrior are just a few symbols of greatness and power that come to mind when thinking of the ideal college mascot. The following schools apparently did not get that message when choosing the face of their university.
10. Miami University’s Sebastian the Ibis
The school is the Miami Hurricanes and their mascot is an Ibis, the creature most likely to be killed in a hurricane. Also, an Ibis is not a duck, yet that is exactly what the mascot looks like. An Ibis is a small bird that looks more like a pheasant. I know information was hard to come by before Google, encyclopedias are big and bulky and the index is all the way in the back, but at an institution of higher learning, you would think accuracy would be more important. Also, neither an Ibis nor a Duck is intimidating.
9. Oklahoma Sooners
I wasn’t sure what a sooner was, so I looked it up (never a good sign if most people do not know what your name means). Apparently, sooner was a term used to describe settlers who entered unassigned lands in the late 1800’s, scary. They usually travelled in covered wagons called schooners, terrifying. So the University of Oklahoma decided that their school should be represented by the Sooner Schooner, a wagon. Even if the horses are ‘roided out like Barbaro, a wagon is not cool.
8. Nebraska Cornhuskers
A cornhusker is only intimidating to one thing, corn that still has its husk. We get it, there is a lot of corn in Nebraska, there is also a lot of…ok, there is nothing else in Nebraska, but they still could have come up with something better. And the mascot itself is called ‘Lil Red and looks like Bob Big Boy’s younger, slower brother. No wonder the only job he could find is husking corn.
7. Ohio State Buckeye
According to Wikipedia, a buckeye is a nut from the buckeye tree. As someone that is allergic to nuts, this mascot is actually quite menacing. To pretty much everyone else, however, a buckeye is a lot like the Ohio State football team, it sounds intimidating until you actually see it, then you realize it couldn’t hurt anyone.
6. Minnesota Golden Gophers
Besides golf course greens keepers and gardeners, gophers are not threatening to anyone. How many people have ever even seen a gopher? Something that lives in holes and rarely comes above ground cannot strike fear in the hearts of anyone, unless it is Osama Bin Laden.
5. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
I know what you’re thinking, bees are scary. You may change your mind though if the bees chasing you were wearing tights. Then you would see them for what they really are, flies on steroids, and all you need to end their lives is a room with a window and time.
4. Xavier University’s Blue Blob
This looks more like the mascot for Sesame Street. I suppose this mascot is creepy, but is that really what schools are going for when picking the symbol of their institution? I guess they decided it was better to scare the kids of their alumni than intimidate the other school.
3. Syracuse’s Otto the Orange
Yes, scurvy is a scary disease (if you’re a pirate) and more schools should tout the importance of a well balanced diet. Nevertheless, I think making this the centerpiece of your university is taking it a little too far. If you are going to make your mascot a fruit, at least choose something ferocious like a cumquat or a horned melon.
2. University of California – Santa Cruz Banana Slug
People don’t usually attend UC Santa Cruz for its sports programs; unless learning how to set up medical marijuana growing stations is part of the athletic department. That doesn’t mean they should have completely slacked off when choosing their mascot. For those of you who don’t know a banana slug is a large, slimy, yellow slug that lives in the redwood forests of northern California. No matter how big, or how yellow, a slug is, it is just not cool.
1. Stanford Cardinal
Stanford is number 1 for the simple fact that it has 2 mascots and both of them suck. Cardinal is a color, similar to red, lame. The mascot that jumps around at sporting events is a tree. Trees are not intimidating, cool, fearsome, or any other adjective that should describe a mascot. The Stanford Tree was involved in one of the best mascot fights of all time with the Cal Bear, however, and that almost got them left off this list, almost.